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Why do we really want to be in a relationship?


Relationships with others

Most of us, a great majority of us, want to have good relationships with others. And that is beautiful as healthy relationships with others influence and create our well-being. 

Yet, we all have so many wounds and as we have forgotten who we truly are, how can we create healthy relationships with others?

From the perspective of my own healing and awakening journey, I can only say: know yourself first, who you truly and deeply are and the right people will show up in your life. Some from the past will stay, and some will go. This is a part of life. Every step of the way, our journey called life, the people that we meet, reflect back to us what we carry within. Our beliefs, desires, dreams, wounds, and gifts. They reflect everything. 

It also does not mean, that things will be perfect because thinking this way is the illusion of our mind. We are evolving all the time and as we evolve, we discover deeper and deeper layers of our existence, which is reflected back in our external reality, including our relationships. There is always something to work on, to transform, to let go, in order for us to be truly present and aligned with our Divine essence.

How about a bit of self-reflection, self-care, self-love by asking a few questions:

  • Do you like what you experience in relation to others?
  • Does what you experience make you feel how you want to feel?
  • What would need to change for you to feel how you want to feel?
  • What actions do you need to take to feel how you want to feel?

Allow what comes back to you. Any answer is right, even, or especially if it is difficult as it brings healing. 

Romantic relationships

What we want, even more oftentimes, is to be in a fulfilling romantic relationship with the “significant other”. The more we crave it, and make it a purpose in our life, perhaps the more we need to be aware of the healing we need to do. 

Why is that so? You may think, that this is “normal” and great and this is what we are here for. And I would say, yes, it may be beautiful, wouldn’t call it normal, as this is a dangerous tag, but perhaps the right questions to be asked in a first place are: 

  • Why do I need the other person in my life so much?
  • Do I feel less valuable without a partner?
  • Is it my own belief or is it pressure from society, family, and friends?
  • What is the real need and feelings behind it?
  • Do I feel judged by other people when I am single?

I truly advise you to ask yourself these questions and be honest with yourself, be open to whatever answers are coming to you. Any information is a key to the healing process. 

When we make a relationship our only purpose in life, it also means that we stick to one role, a small part of our identity. When we stick to only one small part of our identity, our awareness shrinks and we don’t evolve fully as Divine being. Yes, we do evolve in some way, as a relationship is also a way to evolve, but it is not the only one. We are more than just partners, wives, husbands, girlfriends or boyfriends. We are Divine beings expressing our Divine essence in this reality. 

How can we express our vast Divine essence when we are only focused on that tiny part of our existence? 

We don’t need another person to complete us, but this is the greatest illusion of all that we experience in this reality. We are Divine and whole in our essence, yet the ego-mind tries to convince us otherwise. 

Every person who tells you or judges you for being single is projecting their own feeling of not being whole to you. 

None of us needs anyone to complete us, but as we have forgotten about who we truly are, we tend to think and feel this way. We tend to feel that we are missing something within ourselves. When we feel that we are missing something, we perceive it as a need. A need is a reflection of lack. When we feel complete, we don’t feel lacking anything. We feel whole and full and from that place, we can give. We can exchange from the place of wholeness. Because then we truly are everything so we can share.

This is the moment when the real creation begins.

This is when the beauty of relationships begins.

This is where and when life begins.

Always within ourselves.

With love,

Marta ??

Picture Source: Adobe Stock, author: GoodIdeas

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