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Love, pain, responsibility and trust

08/08/2021

When you are on you spiritual path, one of the basic things is personal responsibility. For everything that you experience. Don’t believe anyone who will tell you that you won’t experience pain and life will be just rainbow and butterflies. It won’t be, because this is not what life is. Life has got many shades and colours and only if you experience all of them, you live in full, you get to know yourself better, you learn love and compassion and most of all, responsibility. Responsibility means that you are aware that you create your own reality and that you co-create it with others. You are responsible for your decisions and actions taken.

It is very tempting and perhaps easier to blame external circumstances, blame others. It is the so well known to all of us mechanism of victim and perpetrator. But every moment we do so, we give away our power and therefore we give away our responsibility. 

So, when you know this, when you know that blaming anyone or anything does not help at all, even if you try, you observe how this makes you feel and you know there is no other way, than step out of this wheel and to let go. To take responsibility for your experience and learn from it as much as you can, for yourself to grow and heal.

My journey taught me that I am responsible for what I create, I am co-responsible for what I co-create. And I am responsible for how I react to external circumstances. Do I experience pain? Yes, I do. To be honest, at some point of my soul awakening journey, I was trapped in the illusion that when I finally be enlighten, I will only be happy and joyful and all the problems will disappear. As every illusion, it crumbled completely. I feel pain even deeper than before, because I feel a lot deeper than before, I feel sadness more often, because I experience reality in a different way than before. I still feel anger when I don’t take care of my boundaries well enough. I feel anxious when my body already feels that the change is coming, but my mind is not able to figure this out. I feel fear when I know I need to do what is my challenge. And I learn all the time how to overcome myself and how not to act upon those feelings. It doesn’t always work either, because I am only a human. And always, always, when I get to this point, I finally learn new levels of self- love and self- compassion and that I did what I could and how I could the best at the very moment. Because no matter where we are on our journey, we always do our best at the very moment. After that I again surrender and trust that whatever happens is always for my highest good and for the highest good of all involved, no matter how painful it is then. 

I remember my breakthrough at some point of my journey, when I learned, really believed and understood why I am responsible for my life. It happened when I fully believed that my Soul chose this journey and all experiences that I face. My Soul chose this journey to grow in this particular, unique way, to take all these lessons, to meet the people I met, meet and will meet, no matter for how long and for what reasons. My Soul chose this way. There is no one to blame. I can only take my part of personal responsibility, responsibility for my Soul’s journey. Learn and grow.

In one of the books about the past lives regression I read that “we all came here to learn love", through many different ways, with all its light and shadows, with all its ups and downs, all colours and shades. With joy and sadness, with blessings and pain, with ends and beginnings, with known and unknown. Only then life is full and real.

Love is All.

With love,

Marta 🌍💧💚

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